Another lesson in simplicity

More boxes, more purging, more organizing and more packing! In the days since my last post, I have been busy with all the details related to moving. While it may seem boring, rote, or mundane to some, the process of purging (and in turn, simplifying) has actually been a fun and worthwhile experience. And though it sounds strange to say it, I have been enjoying this process.

Last week, we decided each of us would have 5 outfits to wear between now and the move. As with most new things I try, at first I thought it would be difficult to have so few choices of things to wear; but I persisted and did it anyway because I wanted to get the bulk of our clothes packed and out of the way for an easier time these last couple weeks before the big trip. C has referred the the giant pile of garments awaiting washing or folding on our bedroom floor as "Mount Clothesmore," and he reminded me that getting most of our clothes out of the way would give me less laundry to do in these crazy weeks, thus reducing or eliminating the frequent appearance of Mount Clothesmore in our home. And you know what... he was right! 

The 5 outfits really became 7 or 8 each (due to what was already lurking in the washing machine after I put all the clothes away), but even that number has made a huge difference to how much time I spend washing, drying, folding, and putting away our clothes. What is in our drawers now actually gets worn. Of course, I am doing laundry more frequently, but even that has been better. It feels less like an enormous chore to tackle, and more like a normal task that requires little effort or planning like it once did. (Does anyone else see their mountains of laundry as an "experience" or is that just me?! Or perhaps you've figured out how to NOT have mountains of laundry in the first place. If that is you, please call me immediately with all your tips on simplicity!)

Organized closet, no longer bursting with clothes

One side of my closet completely empty!

On a seemingly unrelated (but very much connected) note, I splurged this week and bought Gretchen Rubin's new book called Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives. It was just released this week, and I bought it on Amazon pre-order. I absolutely loved her book The Happiness Project, and was really psyched to dive into a new book of hers. 

Just a few pages into this new book, Rubin talks about how knowing ourselves can help us form good habits and break bad ones. Among other qualities, she talked specifically about abundance vs. simplicity. She says, in a nutshell, that those who love abundance do well forming habits that relate to their appreciation for having more, while those who love simplicity do best with simple environments and solutions. She references the idea of a spectrum, as well, and that we may find ourselves more on one end than the other. 

This idea of hers makes total sense to me, but my a-ha! moment came along when I realized that my place on that abundance-simplicity spectrum is likely shifting. I have lived in abundance for so long, and it seemed to be my default. I collected lots of things over the years, but they were not enhancing my life; in fact I have come to realize through this experience of organizing for a trans-Atlantic move, my inclination towards abundance has been detrimental. I have had more than I needed and wanted, and became a servant of my things. Cleaning them, organizing them, finding space, moving them, hiding them when guests would come. All this time living that way, and I was oblivious to the reality of my situation. 

My copy of Better Than Before - it's good, like really, really good!

Having fewer things appears more of blessing than having more. I am an extremely lucky person to have everything I need: food, clothing, shelter, and love, and of course much more. I also feel very lucky to have realized that my inclination to have and consume more stuff has been holding me down. Am I a lover of simplicity? I don't know exactly. I think my place on that spectrum is moving further towards living the simple life. And I think my new-found appreciation of simplicity will bring me abundance in other ways: better relationships, more time, less stress, and learning to be happy and grateful for what I do have. 

I will sign off now because the calendar says 11 days, and the much-neglected kitchen needs my attention.

A little lesson about stuff (otherwise known as "the burden of things")

When we last moved over three years ago, L was not even two years old, and little M was basically still a newborn. It was mayhem! We rented the biggest moving truck we could find, and we filled it twice. It was a cold Saturday right before Christmas. It was insane.

Most of the stuff we unloaded went into the garage. Some of this stuff resurfaced occasionally, but more often than not, things stayed in boxes tucked away in the garage, long-forgotten and most definitely not needed.

That move nearly did us in! C was frustrated that we had so much stuff. I was bleary-eyed, barely awake, with a baby in my arms constantly, and I couldn't really say much since most of the things were mine, accumulated over the years. After all, C only moved here from the UK just about 5 or 6 years before that big move, so he hadn't really had the time to build up a collection of junk as I had. I have learned to be gentle with myself regarding the stuff. I found it difficult parting with things at that time, and life really was crazy with two babies. I was overwhelmed to say the least, and really was doing the best I could. C has forgiven me for that monstrous move, and so have I.

While the truck-loads of stuff in the basement, attic, and garage bothered me from time to time, it was out of sight, and therefore out of mind. C would occasionally request we set aside a day to clean out the garage, and sometimes I'd put him off, or we'd schedule it and do a little bit, but for the better part of three years, we have lived with the burden of things.

***

When we began to discuss the possibility of moving to Scotland, we talked about many pertinent issues: the kids (how would they adjust?), our finances (would we be able to travel back to the States for visits?), our families (how would they react and handle this transition?), and me (am I really sane enough to move to another country? The jury is still out on that one!) One of our biggest questions was what would we do with all this stuff?

We didn't have a definite answer to that question, but we knew that not going because of stuff would be a huge mistake. Even in the early stages of our discussion, moving abroad seemed like an opportunity. Since going public with our news, many people have said how lucky we are to have this chance. And lots of people have mentioned having a desire to live abroad without a chance to do so. This seemed like an experience of a lifetime. How foolish we would be to allow clutter to limit such fantastic life choices!

The very next day, I started small by cleaning out a drawer. C was very proud and happy to see that I was serious about de-junking our home. And I was surprised at how good it felt to purge the stuff. Since October, I've been hard at work all over the house, and thank God for that, because with only 18 days left on the calendar, most of the big jobs are finished.

As a reformed hoarder (storage hoarder, not living-space hoarder), giving up "the thing" is not always easy. Sometimes, I agonize over whether something stays or goes. And if it stays, where do I put it? Back in a box, on display, or put to good use? If it goes, can it be sold, donated, recycled, or dumped?  (Stayed tuned for more about how I cleared out our home of a full truck-load of stuff!)

As I worked throughout the house, it seemed like something big was happening very slowly. I started to have a sense of perspective about belongings: they are just things. The really important stuff in life is not stuff at all. It's the people, the events, the opportunities, and the relationships that really matter. This newfound sense of perspective is a big life shift for me. It makes me consider the way we live. We are now striving for simplicity. Some wise folks have taught me to look for progress and not perfection. We are most definitely a work in progress.

This is not actually us, but it does accurately depict what is going on in our home these days!

How it all started....

I suppose it really all started when I fell in love with a Scottish man... well, he was a kid at the time, and so was I, but the point is the same. Long story short: we fell in love, we did the long-distance thing for a while, he finally moved to America, we got married, we had two kids ("L" & "M" for the sake of our blog), and we lived our lives here in the States. Life was beginning to look really good and easy for us. Our kids weren't babies anymore (and we were pretty much all sleeping through the night again), I was finishing my certification course in school counseling, and we were just allowing life to unfold in the way life does.

Then the hubby (we will call him "C") said, "Let's move to Scotland!" and I said, "Heck yeah!" and now we are living out the process of moving a family of four to another country. (Quotations above have been paraphrased for the sake of creative expression and to save my poor readers from really reading that whole very lengthy conversation!)

Some may ask why we are doing this. There are several reasons.

1. It has always been in the cards for us. Before we got married, C wanted to be sure we could travel back to his homeland and live there at some point for some length of time. Way back when, I agreed to this and I stuck by this promise.

2. We will be much closer to his family. C's parents are thrilled that we will be living so close to them in their hometown. It will be a wonderful opportunity to be near them as our children grow.

3. C was offered and accepted a new job that necessitates close proximity to Europe. (And Scotland is Europe!)

4. Last but not least, I must mention the serendipity of this situation. As we discussed our options, everything fell into place in such a way, that it seemed all the laws of nature were showing us this is our path.

Why a blog? As I discussed the details of my daily life in organizing our move to Scotland, more than a few people suggested I document the process of packing, purging, moving, and of course, living life in a new country. I thought that sounded kind of cool -- I'm not new to blogging or writing, so I knew I could do it -- but I didn't know what I would say. Living in the details of planning a move to a new continent did not seem incredibly interesting as I dusted off old boxes and spent time digging out long-forgotten items in the cobwebbed crawl space of our basement. I also wondered when I would write. I am blessed to not have an out-of-the-house career right now since my full-time job has become organizing our home and family for this move abroad. It seemed any time I would spend writing would take away from the monumental to-do-list tasks that monopolize my waking moments. But then, something started to happen as time went on, and I began to have big revelations about things (as in "stuff" and belongings), people, life, and priorities. And all of a sudden, I felt truly compelled to write about this experience. Now there just seems to be so much to say!

As I write this first entry, we are less than 3 weeks from our moving day. Our flight is 19 days away, to be exact. Some of what I will document in future entries will be real-time details, while other posts will be reflections of things that we've already done. In either case, I write these stories to provide an account of this unique experience for our friends and family, and of course, for ourselves. Feel free to follow us on our journey.